Khiri: Pro-Life and Pro-Feminist

It may surprise some that Khiri identifies as both pro-life and as a feminist. But for her, the biggest feminist issues in today’s society deal with abortion and reproductive rights.

“I personally am pro-life, however, I do not think the legal aspects of that issue should be debated and decided by men,” says Khiri, who is also an active member of her Catholic church. “I feel similarly about the availability and coverage of birth control – considering that it concerns solely women, I find it astonishing how few women are making the decisions.”

Many feminists have told Khiri that her pro-life stance means that she can’t identify as a feminist. Today she disagrees, but for a long time Khiri didn’t feel the term “feminist” really fit her.

She grew up near and attended college in Ann Arbor, Michigan, a town that she describes as “incredibly liberal.” During her time at Ann Arbor’s University of Michigan,  Khiri took a Women’s Studies course which turned her off to the idea of identifying herself as a feminist.

The class was full of women striving to be the “stereotypical, man-hating feminist”, says Khiri.

“Much discussion was devoted to analyzing how men didn’t understand, respect, or deserve women,” says Khiri. “Their definition of feminism seemed very narrow and strict, and I had no interest in it.”

Once Khiri was exposed to other types of  feminists, she realized that the term itself wasn’t about being anti-male, or anti-anything.

“[Feminism] is about having the freedom to choose,” says Khiri. “To me, it is the idea that a woman’s choice to be a stay-at-home mother, a CEO or anything in between should be respected.”

Khiri chose to be a stay-at-home mother herself. She has one daughter, Cairo, who is nearly one, and is pregnant with her second child, due in early May. Becoming a stay-at-home mom was not about fulfilling traditional gender roles, says Khiri.

“Some people seem convinced that all stay-at-home moms are repressed into their roles by various societal factors. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom for the good of my child – certainly not to please my husband’s whims about having some sort of idyllic 1950s family,” says Khiri.

Khiri has a Bachelor’s degree and has fielded questions from many about her “wasted education,” she says.

“I find these questions extremely ignorant; my choice to stay home with my baby certainly doesn’t preclude me from having a career in the future,” says Khiri, whose husband’s role in United States Air Force has required their family to move three times in the past two years.

Since becoming a mother, Khiri has noticed that many women who identify as feminists judge her decisions to do, or not do, certain things when it comes to parenting. She hopes that the feminist movement will someday be more accepting.

“I’d like to see less arrogance and more compassion. Too much of the world is convinced that their way is the way and that everyone else must just be a hopeless idiot,” says Khiri. “A little less judgment and a little more unity would make any feminist movement truly unstoppable.”