Author Archives: Feminism: The other F word
Khiri: Pro-Life and Pro-Feminist
It may surprise some that Khiri identifies as both pro-life and as a feminist. But for her, the biggest feminist issues in today’s society deal with abortion and reproductive rights.
“I personally am pro-life, however, I do not think the legal aspects of that issue should be debated and decided by men,” says Khiri, who is also an active member of her Catholic church. “I feel similarly about the availability and coverage of birth control – considering that it concerns solely women, I find it astonishing how few women are making the decisions.”
Many feminists have told Khiri that her pro-life stance means that she can’t identify as a feminist. Today she disagrees, but for a long time Khiri didn’t feel the term “feminist” really fit her.
She grew up near and attended college in Ann Arbor, Michigan, a town that she describes as “incredibly liberal.” During her time at Ann Arbor’s University of Michigan, Khiri took a Women’s Studies course which turned her off to the idea of identifying herself as a feminist.
The class was full of women striving to be the “stereotypical, man-hating feminist”, says Khiri.
“Much discussion was devoted to analyzing how men didn’t understand, respect, or deserve women,” says Khiri. “Their definition of feminism seemed very narrow and strict, and I had no interest in it.”
Once Khiri was exposed to other types of feminists, she realized that the term itself wasn’t about being anti-male, or anti-anything.
“[Feminism] is about having the freedom to choose,” says Khiri. “To me, it is the idea that a woman’s choice to be a stay-at-home mother, a CEO or anything in between should be respected.”
Khiri chose to be a stay-at-home mother herself. She has one daughter, Cairo, who is nearly one, and is pregnant with her second child, due in early May. Becoming a stay-at-home mom was not about fulfilling traditional gender roles, says Khiri.
“Some people seem convinced that all stay-at-home moms are repressed into their roles by various societal factors. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom for the good of my child – certainly not to please my husband’s whims about having some sort of idyllic 1950s family,” says Khiri.
Khiri has a Bachelor’s degree and has fielded questions from many about her “wasted education,” she says.
“I find these questions extremely ignorant; my choice to stay home with my baby certainly doesn’t preclude me from having a career in the future,” says Khiri, whose husband’s role in United States Air Force has required their family to move three times in the past two years.
Since becoming a mother, Khiri has noticed that many women who identify as feminists judge her decisions to do, or not do, certain things when it comes to parenting. She hopes that the feminist movement will someday be more accepting.
“I’d like to see less arrogance and more compassion. Too much of the world is convinced that their way is the way and that everyone else must just be a hopeless idiot,” says Khiri. “A little less judgment and a little more unity would make any feminist movement truly unstoppable.”
Melissa: Native American feminist
Melissa has had feminist ideals for as long as she can remember. The maternal side of her family is Native American, a culture with a strong sense of matriarchal power, and since her parents had her young, her extended family was actively involved in raising her.
“I grew up surrounded around resilient and positively influential women such as my grandmothers, mom and aunts,” says Melissa, who is a quarter Ojibwe and a member of the Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians.
But it wasn’t until she began studying feminism academically that Melissa put a name to her feelings.
“I think the first time I truly recognized my feminist identity was in a women’s history class at Michigan State during my sophomore year,” says Melissa. “I felt like I had finally found a definition or label for all of the frustrations and feelings I had been experiencing as a female human being.”
Melissa, who grew up in Cheboygan and Traverse City, Michigan, received a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Michigan State University and went on to earn a master’s degree in media studies from Wayne State University. She continued to study feminism, focusing her thesis on First Nations female filmmakers and their portrayal of contemporary Indigenous identity and feminism. Now she is in her second year as a PhD student in cultural studies at George Mason University, working as the president of the Native American and Indigenous Alliance and a coordinator for the Global Proficiency Certificate program through the Office of International Programs and Services at the college. Her studies have expanded her view of feminism, especially in terms of how it applies to Native Americans.
“Many Native scholars believe that patriarchy is a Western concept that was introduced to Indigenous people through colonization and in order for tribal communities to reclaim their self-determination, they must return to traditional ways such as matrilineal societies and kinship structures,” says Melissa, who hopes to someday become a college professor and design a course curriculum on Native American cinema and Indigenous feminism.
Feminism can encompass not only the struggles of gender inequality, but also of sexuality, class and race, says Melissa. Works like Betty Friedan’s “The Feminist Mystique,” don’t necessary tell the whole story.
“Although Friedan’s work is a huge historical moment during the women’s movement, I think that it is often a generalized view of feminism, which can be extremely complicated in terms of social class and race,” says Melissa.
Feminism is complicated in Melissa’s own culture. Some Native American women do not necessarily believe in the concept of feminism because they believe it has always existed. Others are more concerned with the injustice of race rather than gender, says Melissa. For Melissa, the feminism movement has a lot of potential.
“For myself, the word has definitely changed throughout the years,” says Melissa. “I have begun to recognize the incredible possibilities that feminism has to offer for a variety of social inequalities.”